Can I have your autograph?

I was getting ready to take my break when a little girl came running up to me and asked me for my autograph. I turned around with a very confused look on my face and asked her why she would like my autograph. I mean I do make one hell of a coffee but that could not be it. She looked me straight in the eye and said “Well you’re Steven Page from the Barenaked Ladies aren’t you?” I looked across the room at her parents who were giving me that “please even if you aren’t who she thinks you are just make our kid happy” sort of look, I felt I had to lie my ass off. I went down on one knee and spoke very softly so that only she could hear: “ I am Steven Page and I would love to give you an autograph but don’t let anyone else know. It is our little secret.” That little girl was so happy and her parents grateful that it made my week.

Pizza & bombs

One of my first experiences with event marketing was a huge campaign for Delissio Pizza. We dressed up a chefs and were sent door to door to hand out free frozen pizzas. “It’s not delivery, it’s Delissio!” As you can imagine there were many flaws with this campaign.

On the occasion someone actually came to the door we got some pretty great reactions. One mother listened to my pitch, sized me up and then asked, “Is there a bomb in that pizza?” I replied, “No, there is no bomb in this pizza.” And just to play it safe she explained, “Because I have children. So don’t be giving me a pizza with a bomb in it.

Working at a health food store

“Once someone came into the store, and in a very serious tone, and as if it was the most unheard of product asked me is we had oatmeal. When I said yes, she asked me if I had ever tried it. It was only funny because she asked as if she were asking me about a breakfast food made from some strange unheard-of substance, rather than a grain that is in every starbucks, and even served in some fast-food restaurants.
Another time a woman came in and asked me what almond milk was made out of. I told her: almonds.”